May 24, 2020
Resources
Madrid Film Festival
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
Twyla Tharp
Lex App
Queerantine Community on Instagram
“Would love some advice on how to get comfortable in the unknown. Like for many others, the pandemic has cancelled all of my study and work plans and I have no idea what next year’s going to look like now. How do you navigate such uncertainty?””
“We work so hard to stay grounded in our lives and feel really good - and that’s important - and it’s also important to find ease and comfort in the groundlessness of being alive. The ground can shift under us at any time, whether it’s a global pandemic, or a breakup, a death, a birth. Anything that’s sort of like, a tectonic shift in your personal life or the world or in our communities, it’s going to knock you off balance. So I think part of it is looking at your own listmaking practice of ‘what are the things that keep you centered?’”
“Is it ever too late to say sorry?”
“I think a lot of us carry a lot more shame around friendships ending than we do around romantic partnerships ending - it’s sort of like “oh, we broke up!” And with a friendship there’s a lot of like, “I should’ve been able to save this, there’s no reason we shouldn’t be friends!” So, first off, I just want to give you permission that it’s ok if a friendship ends. It’s ok if you grow apart or have different needs.”
“I’m looking for tips about maintaining drive and focus
around a creative project that seems amorphous, maybe too big for the world, how to bring it down to earth.”
“Taking scissors and glue stick and sort of thinking about - you could collage, you could draw, you could work in a different medium to start visioning, what do you want this thing to be in the world? And I think another great practice is list-making, like really being like “what are the factual steps that need to get done for this thing to be complete?” You could make a list of what are the fears that are holding you back right now from doing the things on that task list? I think if you’re still struggling with what it is, just be patient with the process. I think more will be revealed.”
“Re: communicating with an ex post breakup - when is the right time? Is it productive? How do you check in about being on the same page?”
“Make sure you’ve had enough time for yourself, enough time to truly recalibrate and find your center. Check in with yourself about where you’re at. I love asking myself ‘what is my motivation?’ If I’m going to text an ex, whether it’s for processing, or touching base, it’s like -
do I need attention right now? Do I just miss that person? Is there something we really need to discuss, actually?”
“Do you have any words on navigating the feeling of alone-ness that so many people are experiencing right now? I’m feeling a little bit low seeing other people socialize - even from a distance - because I’m not really sure how to make connections ”
“A lot of my real life friendships have been made through digital connections. I think if you see someone on the internet that you think is cool, maybe ask them to be a pen pal, maybe see if they live in your area and see if they would be open to meeting up. Of course, there’s dating apps, Lex app which a lot of queers use, there’s different social media things that you can try. I think just looking for a platonic connection is really important. It’s ok if real life connection starts on the digital plane.”